The More You Know

After my third year of college, I decided to drop out. I don't remember exactly what my parents said, but I'm sure it was somewhere along the lines of "What the hell is wrong with you?" (Well, that's what my dad would have said. My mom would have said "What the heck is wrong with you?" And she would have actually stressed the word "heck" as if she was saying "fuck.")

Like a lot of people, I loved the social aspect of college. I had lots of friends. Lots of romantic liaisons that became cringe-worthy memories. Lots of learning that resulted from lots of mistakes. Being from a farm in South Dakota, I was exposed to new things: Gay men (LOVE them!), hangovers (HATE them!), Thai food (love it a little too much), everything delivery (oh my god love it gimme gimme).

But the kind of learning I was supposed to be doing was not what I was being offered, the kind that was going to teach me how to adult when I got out. How do I do my taxes? What's a 401K? What do I do when I get a flat tire on the highway? How do I make ends meet on $17,000 a year? Oh, and insurance - what the hell is up with that?* These things were not being taught to us, and I was frustrated. 

Now, the argument can be made that this is partly a result of my major of choice: theater. (Shut up.) When it was time for me to choose a major, I became a broken record whining, "I don't know what I want to be!" over and over, and the echoing answer I always got was, "You can major in anything. All employers care about is that you have a degree." Well, great! I want to major in theater then because a.) I love plays, musicals, movies, etc. b.) It is the only major that doesn't require a math elective. 

Sign me up. 

So I became a theater major, which is not known for being, um, broad in its worldly knowledge, shall we say. However, I have yet to meet someone who can major in something where they learned all of those everyday things we need to know. I saw this and it drove me nuts. I loved theater! I loved writing! I loved singing! But it was slowly dawning on me that no one was likely to ever pay me a dime for any of those things I loved to do. So what the hell was I doing spending money and time on an education when I could just get started adulting?  

So off I went. 

Now, fifteen years later, the obvious question is: Do I regret it? The answer: Meh.

My husband has the title of "Doctor." I am so proud of him, and endlessly grateful for how much he truly loves his job in veterinary medicine.  But I envy him sometimes, too. He can carry around proof of intelligence on every envelope, name tag, legal document, and table card. And then there's me, who always has to check "High School Diploma" as my highest education achieved. 

I can't say this doesn't bother me sometimes. "So go back to school and quit whining already!" is usually my first thought, and it's probably yours right now, too. But that leads to the next question, which is "What should I major in?"

That's where I get stuck. Because I still love theater. I still love writing. And I still love singing. And the probability that I will get paid for any of those things has not improved in fifteen years. You don't go to a play because the lead actress got her doctorate in theology. You don't see advertising stickers on books that say, "College-Educated Author!" You don't say, "Oh, my God, don't you love her new song? I can't stop dancing to it because she got her master's in elementary education." 

And I come back to what I believe to be true: If I go back to school now, it will just be to feed my ego with a new title. But that goes against everything we're taught, right? A college education is the skeleton key that will open all doors. It will get you out of poverty, prepare you for adulthood, pave your way to a successful career, set you on an even plane of intelligence of everyone else who has their degree. 

To this, I say bullshit. I just don't think a degree is necessary for everyone. Right now, today, I still think it would be a waste of my time and money. I can't see myself on a different career path than the one I'm on now, even if I had a doctorate. I'm right where I want to be, and I like the way the future looks. And I don't feel as though I missed out on a year of hardcore knowledge, either, considering I don't remember anything I learned in college, anyway. (And that class in PowerPoint/Word/Excel is less than useless now.) In our culture, it sounds ridiculous and almost sacrilegious to say that maybe college isn't for everyone, but as crazy-ass expensive as an education is (my husband's four years in veterinary school literally has us hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt), I think it's not only a real option for people to reevaluate the role a degree may have in their own lives. 

But it may be the wise thing to do. 

*1.) You go to www.hrblock.com and start filling in boxes. 2.) It's a retirement savings account usually matched or contributed to by your employer. 3.) Call AAA. 4.) You can't. 5.) Get it, even if you think you don't need it.